Archive for the ‘mom and me’ Category

Thanks for the dresses Mom!

Monday, June 30th, 2014

“The way I see it, you should live everyday like it’s your birthday.” ~ P. Hilton

love mom

Yesterday, June, 29th, was my birthday (awww…thank you) :). Like most girls, I enjoy shopping for a couple of sunny day dresses for those sweltering summer days. Enter B & B, THE place at the Jersey shore to find a perfectly skimpy little beach dress, or a chic long maxi for a cool July evening.

So, my bestie Pat and I visited the Lavallette B & B to browse before heading out to dinner by the bay. We quickly gathered a bunch of dresses in our arms and headed to the fitting rooms. Each room looked cleared out of all clothing and people, so I just dashed into the spot next to where Pat was already trying on her finds. I began trying on a few of my items and noticed two very cute dresses joining me in the space. I tried on the navy and white striped high-low dress and KNEW it was for me! I also knew this was a dress Mom would have picked out for me. 100%. It was as if this dress was just hanging around waiting for me. Even crazier to me is that ever since Mom passed away a few years ago, I’ve been visiting B & B every birthday and buying a dress “from” her for my birthday.

(ITALIAN LESSON: it’s for a present = è per un regalo)

summer dress

All of the looks I thought would be perfect on me weren’t, except for THAT dress. Pat loved the look of this nautical number too, so she bought one for herself, AND she decided to declare the dress (& a pair of flips) my birthday gift. We both agreed that my mom had a hand in both of us finding something special.

So GRAZIE to Pat for the fabulous goodies, and a very special thank you to Mom for helping dress both of us!


Mom’s Day…again?

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Mother’s Day 2013: Year three without Mom.
All of those Hallmark, Macy’s and Flower commercials are enough to make me hurl my new wedges at our flat screen!

Just like dear ol’ Charlie Brown says about Christmas cards, “I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?” You get my drift.


Yeah, I miss Mom on a daily basis, and the sense of loss can get a bit overwhelming when you see and hear phrases like:
“Mom will love this” or “Treat Mom on her special day”, blah blah blah…

Normally, I have a pretty playful, lively disposition, but at the same time, my soul carries around a sense of profound loss like a heavy black burqa, one that cannot be so easily peeled off.

mom in OC

With that said, (and you should know by now this blog is pretty cathartic for me) for today, I’ll strip off my shroud and enjoy the family I have here to love and enjoy spending earthly time with.

So, Happy Mother’s Day Mom, wherever you are — and to all Moms out there in computerland, hug your kids no matter how old they are, tell them you love them and enjoy the day!

Photo Notes: Top pic, I was in mom’s belly. Photo #2 is one of my faves of Mom in Ocean City, NJ. I wrote a post about this special spot called EMPTY BENCH.

50-100% Chance of Bullsh*t!

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Mom used to say,

Yup, she got that right! There’s a major downpour with heavy amounts of B.S. flying down at us these days, don’t you think? It gets better — since it’s an election year, you’ll have to sit tight and enjoy the monsoon, because I’m certain the cow cookies will be hitting us hard and heavy, come fall.

(ITALIAN LESSON: Storm = Tempesta)

No worries, I’m steering clear of politics and religion today. I already covered a bit about the good ol’ Catholic days in a few of these fun and slightly irreverent posts:

Sadistic priest burns little girl with cigar

Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)

The Very Wretched Sister Urselena

Palm Sunday: Church with a Door Prize!

So, go out and get yourself a sturdy pair of thigh-high boots, a “gale force” umbrella, and please remember Ma’s wisdom.

Feel free to share your opinions about those political messages you know you’ll be enjoying on the tube soon — I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Empty Bench

Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

“Remember me and smile, for it’s better to forget than remember me and cry.” ~ unknown

I posted a shorter version of this poem on Facebook last year near Mom’s birthday, but it never made its way to the Madness blog. Since a full year has now come full circle, and I’m taking today off to visit this seaside bench once again, I figured it’s a good time to make this a live one.

Scusa me amicas and amicos, I certainly am light years behind the likes of Emily Dickinson.


We’d stop and sit for a chat
Our laughter filling the salty air

A stroll on the boards
A slice, a cone, a coke
“Watch those $@#& seagulls!”
Always a chuckle at one of your jokes

Seaside moments to treasure
Our own bit of heaven on earth
For some, a bond so rare
A friendship mom her daughter shared

Today my tears flowed without your presence
I see only our blue bench…empty
Just waiting for you to come and join me there

ITALIAN LESSON: missing (in the absence of) = mancando — “I’m missing you” = “Mi stai mancando”


Jeez, how I miss you, our belly laughs, shopping sprees, our funny ‘what-would-you-rather-have’ questions and the silliness we enjoyed every time we spent those precious moments together. I especially miss reading you my madness writing about all the kooky things we experienced as a family (and the variety of sixteen foster kids, each with their own story).

Even though some of these stories may seem wacked-out to some, I’d go back and enjoy every insane minute again.

~ Me

Madness, Mom & Mother’s Day

Saturday, May 12th, 2012

No sugarcoating whatsoever:
Life without Mom pisses me off!

Yes, I’m grateful for all the sweet, wonderful and sometimes hilarious years I had with my parents. Yes, I’m one of the lucky ones to have a smart & funny husband, a fabulous family, great friends and two adorable terriers who are quite talented at licking my tears away when they fall. I know I’m lucky to have all of these things, yet when you lose a Mom who is also a best friend, your muse and a person you really enjoy hanging out with, it really leaves a gash in your heart.

(ITALIAN LESSON: angry = arrabbiato)

Sometimes I scratch my wound on purpose. I’m a total sucker for family photos, and many nights I’ll grab a pile of childhood pictures and pore over them, treasuring each frame while fondly reminiscing about the good times. Memories dance through my head and I love it, yet it’s like torture (and I am no masochist).

I realize these memories are all I have now. No time to create new ones with Ma, no new jokes or one-liners of hers for me to jot down and share. No more shopping sprees or or chatting while she relaxes on the couch with a coke and one of my furkids (as seen in the photo below) etc. I can’t even ask her a question about the sixteen foster kids she and my loving Dad took in over the years — I just have my own recollections to rely on now.

This will be my second Mother’s Day without her, and it stings – it really just “sucks the big one” to be blunt. No, I don’t plan to beat up another laptop (See: Shaken Laptop Syndrome) or anyone else for that matter (although I may be typing a bit hard on these keys at the moment).

So, do me a favor if your Mom is still here. Give her a hug from me — and make it extra tight.

Comments welcome! HERE.

Lil Bits & Pieces (what’s your nickname?)

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

“When I go out with the ladies, I don’t force them to pronounce my name. I tell them I like to go by the nickname of Kitten.” ~ Joaquin Phoenix

Lil bits, bit bits, little bitch, e-little-bits, and e-lil-bitch were collective nicknames for my given name, Elizabeth. My cousin Suzanne called me most of them, with bit bits and little bitch her personal faves. E-liz-a-beth is a lot of name for a two year old.

Imagine if my parents had chosen to name me Domenica! This was the preference of my Sicilian grandmother, though going up against the feisty woman that was my mom, Nan had little hope of winning the name game. I always thought I was named after the Queen of England, but mom pointed out it was Elizabeth Taylor who inspired her choice. Hey, not too shabby, right?

Elizabeth IS a pretty name, with more than it’s share of nicknames (Bess, Betty, Bessie, Eli, Liz, Lizzy, Libby, etc.).
I, however, was having none of those — or even Elizabeth. One day, when I was about two, Mom heard a commotion coming from my room. When she swung my bedroom door open, my entire baby wardrobe was thrown all over the place (think: clothing explosion!) and there I was happily jumping up and down on my bed yelling proudly, “LEE LEE’S MESS! LEE LEE’S MESS!” If only we had YouTube back then…DAMN, we would’ve gone viral!

(ITALIAN LESSON: Nickname – Soprannome)

Anyway, Lee Lee “stuck”. I was called Lee Lee for a few years, and then one of the Lees simply fell away. Mom’s vision of the beautiful name she chose for her daughter vanished too, since Lee is what I go by today. Mom and Dad did use Elizabeth when I was acting up though, since four syllables made for much better yelling power.

Do you have a nickname? I’d love to hear your childhood nicknames that stuck – or didn’t. Please share HERE.

Sebastian Cabot and Other Swear Words

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

“Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children” ~ Sam Levinson

Those of you over 40 probably remember the late 60s/early 70s TV comedy Family Affair. The show was about a well-paid hip bachelor with a to die for Manhattan apartment who, after his brother and sister-in-law die in an accident (wow what a fun premise for a comedy!), “inherits” three of his brother’s children. The trio included 6 year old red-headed twins Buffy and Jody – who totally annoyed me – and their 15 year old sister, Cissy.

ITALIAN LESSON: To swear = bestemmiare

In my four-year old mind, the real star of the show was the house butler, Mr. French. Mr. French was a proper English gentleman, and he seemed so likable to me. Looking back, I actually think I was more intrigued with his real name than his character on the show or that signature black umbrella he toted around New York. You see, the actor’s name was Sebastian Cabot, but I thought it was Sir Bastard Cabinet.

I think Mom and I called him Sir Bastard Cabinet for years, even once I knew what his name really was (and I think Mom just got a kick out of it). Plus, it was burned into my brain cells, just like freckles (see Freckles post).

Next up, a post about how my four syllable first name became the one syllable name it is today. Wow, how lucky I am to have so many sweet memories, thanks to hours upon hours of chats with my Mom. Kudos to Mom, and thank you to Sir Bastard.

Please share in the comments spot: Do you remember this show and/or what were YOUR funny names for people from your childhood?

Cradle Crap

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

“When I was born I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.” ~ Gracie Allen

My mom was certainly gifted with a clever tongue, and her way with words always made me laugh. Her wit was mentioned in a few of my previous Madness posts such as The Sh!t List!, Mom’s Prison Rap, My Clever Ma and This Little Piggy.

Yesterday I was pleasantly reminded of a funny phrase mom used to say when I was little. You know how babies get something called cradle cap on their heads? It’s a form of dermatitis which appears on the scalp of infants. But let’s not get gross here, I don’t even know if you’ve had your morning coffee yet.

(ITALIAN LESSON: That’s a cute baby = Che carino bimbo / Che carino bimba (for female)

Anyway, it was…well, Mom said it best, calling it “Cradle Crap”, and she used to gently peel away whatever traces of this mushy scalp crap I had on my little baby head.

Cradle crap, exploding diapers and boogers — bless you moms for all you endure!

Time to vent! Please share your baby incidents in the comments section HERE. I’d love to hear your stories (bring on the yuck factor, I have a pretty strong stomach)!

Mom’s Prison Rap

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

My mother really had a kick-ass sense of humor, which you can clearly see in these past posts: My Clever Mom, Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, and The Impatient Patient.

Her original “PRISON RAP” is one of my favorites, and I’m lucky enough to have a taped version featuring rapper mom at the mic! Yeah, it might sound crazy, but this little rap of hers is one of my most cherished memories of her clever wit!

So let’s get to it — here is Mom’s original rap:

PRISON RAP ~ by Margo Romano

I’m going through a phase with my razor blades
I’ll stab you in the neck, but what the heck
I got you by the balls, so you’re takin’ a fall
I’m hopping on a train, going insane
But I’m coming back and that’s a fact

I’m telling no lies, so you better hide
I’ll do my time for committing my crime
I know life sucks, but what the F*CK!

There ain’t no reason, there ain’t no rhyme,
I’m just sitting in my cell doing time.


My Clever Mom

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

“Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.” ~ Anonymous

Mom had a phrase I’ve been finding myself using a lot lately, especially while walking two easily distracted terriers. Terrier one is the Napoleon Dynamite of schnauzers. He’s lacking in basic social skills plus he’s a bit of a close talker. Terrier two thinks she’s heading up CSI Philly. She can sniff the living hell out of a spot the size of a tiny green pea, leaving you wondering just exactly how much DNA was left at the crime scene. If she had opposable thumbs, little Sherlock Holmes would be taking page after page of notes. I, of course, would be her Gal Friday — you think Miss Westie would carry her own notebook and pen?

Ok, I digress. Mom’s phrase? “SH!T OR GET OFF THE POT”. Now I know ma didn’t make this saying up, but she used it so well. It comes in handy for a variety of social situations: the deer-in-the-headlights ATM banker, the old woman at the deli counter who can’t make up her mind between the mozzarella or the mortadella, the driver who waits for a better shade of green at the traffic light, the hold-out in a couple who isn’t quite sure about commitment, etc., etc. You get my drift — the list can go on and on.

ITALIAN LESSON: know-it-all or smart ass = saputo/a a know-it-all (from the verb sapere, meaning “to know.”

So, let’s try it out! Tell someone to sh!t or get off the pot in the comments section below – think of someone and let it be known! You don’t even have to name names, just do it, and get off the pot.

After you get that off your chest, please head to the home of Madness again HERE.