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Italiano Sing-Along! (Luna Mezzo Mare)

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Italian or not, you just have to shake your ASSets when you hear this vintage number by Lou Monte.

As a my Uncle Angelo once said while slurping down his minestrone to the song, “thissa songa will make-a dying-a man getta outta his bed and dance-a the Italiano jig!” I agree with Uncle Angelo, so sing along, enjoy, and be sure to SHAKE what God gave you!

“Luna Mezzo Mare” or “Lazy Mary” by Lou Monte

C’ ‘na luna mezz’u mare
Mamma mia m’a maritare
Figlia mia a cu te dare
Mamma mia pensace tu
Se te piglio lu pesciaiole
Isse vai isse vene
Sempe lu pesce mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te pesculia figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà no calamare c’eggi’accattà

C’ ‘na luna mezz’u mare
Mamma mia m’a maritare
Figlia mia a cu te dare
Mamma mia pensace tu
Se te piglio lu pulezia
Isse vai isse vene
Semp’a scuppetta mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te scuppettea figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà ‘na scuppetta c’eggi’accattà

Lazy Mary you better get up
She answered back I am not able
Lazy Mary you better get up
We need the sheets for the table
Lazy Mary you smoke in bed
There’s only one man you should marry
My advice to you would be
Is to pay attention to me
You’d better marry a fireman
He’ll come and go, go and come

Sempe la pompa mane tene
Se ce ‘ncappa la fantasia
Te pomperia figghiuzza mia
Là lariulà pesce fritt’e baccalà
Uei cumpà ‘na pompina c’eggi’accattà
0 cummà ca m’ voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Trovame ‘na uagliotta
Ca me voglio marità
Hey!

So….did you shake it?
Even a little bit? Please leave a comment below :)
Keep on singing and head back to the home of Madness HERE

Posted in Italian song, Lazy Mary Italian song, Lazy Mary Lyrics, Lou Monte, madness mom & me | 9 Comments »

Crush Crazy!

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Ringo Starr

I’ve mentioned one of my first crushes (Mr. Peanut) in my Atlantic City post, but I think I only liked him for his warm toasty nuts. Get your mind out of the gutter — his peanuts!

But, I was fickle. As a young lass, I really had eyes for Ringo Starr (of the Beatles, in case you just woke up from a four decade long coma). Fortune was on my side, seeing as how my first grade teacher happened to know Ringo personally! In fact, she told me she’d give him my love letters. How exciting for me!

Crush number two was comedian Jerry Lewis. I used to watch his hysterical movies over and over again. Jerry was totally adorable and he made me laugh – what else does a girl need?

Jerry Lewis

As I grew a bit older music took center stage, and with that, Elton John became my main squeeze. My adolescent bedroom walls were crammed, wall-to-wall, with posters of EJ in a variety of his fabulously flamboyant outfits. I thought he was the sexiest thing! (I had no idea about his sexual preferences then, but I wouldn’t have cared anyway). Each night I was sure to write how I LOVED ELTON in my diary.

Elton John

I have quite the soft spot in my heart for my first crushes, and I always will. These three guys were the garland on my childhood, and when I think about my little girl first loves, I still smile.

Ok, SPILL IT! Who were your first crushes? Please share in the comments section below & head back to the home of MADNESS.

Posted in Elton John, First crush, Jerry Lewis, madness mom & me, Mr. Peanut, Ringo Starr | 27 Comments »

Mom’s Little Monkey

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.” ~ Winston Churchill

In my post “The Exorcist at the Drive In” I shared my warm memories of the drive-in movie theater, and how I fondly remember those retro intermission ads touting sparkling cold beverages, piping hot coffee, Slim Jims, chocolate bars, candy and cigarettes.

I also mentioned how my little peepers stayed glued to the big screen during the entire showing of The Exorcist, complete with the Ouija board (“Captain Howdy”), pea green priest vomit, and Regan’s infamous crackling head spin. That movie stayed with me so much so that it’s still ranks as my favorite horror flick ever, which I religiously (pun intended) watch at least once a year.

baby orangutan

That night, during the showing of the pre-movie movie, mom & dad kept telling me they had a cute little monkey to show me, but I had to be patient. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to see this monkey! Where the heck did mom and dad get a monkey from?” I wondered, so I did my best Ramona the Pest impersonation to get them to show me asap!

Finally, mom said “are you ready to see the monkey?” I told her “YES YES YES!” So … I closed my eyes, and then mom spoke her magic words: “open your eyes!”

DAMN — I was totally gypped!

The “MONKEY” was me! Mom put down the passenger’s side sun visor, so when I opened my eyes I saw my own face in the mirror! Turns out, they thought I was their cute little monkey. I do recall being a bit ticked, but the freakish movie allowed me to snap out of it fairly quickly.

(ITALIAN LESSON: That does not please me = Questo non me calza )

No monkeying around, please leave a comment about your drive-in/movie memories below, and you can head to the madness home page ~ HERE ~

Posted in Crazy NJ family, Drive in movie, Insane family stories, little monkey, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, mom & me, NJ, NJ Drive In, ramona the pest, The Exorcist | 5 Comments »

Retro Joe with a side of Bobby D

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? still proves to be one of my most popular Madness posts, so I figured I’d ride the love for cousin Joe with a comedic visual, courtesy of SNL via Hulu.

So, enjoy Jim Breuer and Alec Baldwin performing their best impressions of a couple of good fellas.

Bada Bing!

Don’t tick off the raging bull — tell us your favorite SNL skits in the comments section, then head to the home of Madness HERE

Posted in madness mom & me | 10 Comments »

Franken-Hairy

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

Etiquette tip: “More people will get out of your way if you say “I’m gonna puke!” than if you say “Excuse me”

One glorious crisp and sunny fall day, mom, dad, my cousin Tracy and I were in dad’s metallic blue Chevy Impala heading for a day trip of picnicing, rowboating and fun at one of our favorite scenic family spots in New Jersey — Swartswood Lake. Tracy and I were growing more excited since we were about half way to our destination, and there was no hint of mom’s throw-her-purse-or-shoe-out-the car-window drama on this day trip — (I guess ma gave the “thumbs-up” to dad’s driving that day) YAY!

About halfway to our destination I felt the need for a nap so I told (er…um asked) Tracy to shift over a bit, so she could serve as a pillow for my little snooze (a girl has to be comfy, you know). All was just peachy until Tracy began to violently hurl her breakfast, which happened to be a huge bowl of Frankenberry cereal. Dad’s car screeched to a halt when I woke up screaming with pink and white chunky swirls of strawberry barf covering my entire head, and poor Tracy just kept on puking, which seemed to go on forever.

(ITALIAN LESSON: throw up = vomitare)

Frankenberry Cereal

Needless to say, we never made it to Swartswood Lake that day, instead Dad made a beeline to the local hospital. Turns out my little cousin had spinal meningitis, and almost died. After a few agonizing spinal taps and a deranged priest reading Tracy her last rites (while announcing to us that our dear girl was to depart this world at any moment), I’m happy to say Tracy made a full recovery. To this day, when I see the revived Frankenberry boxes on the supermarket shelves, I remember that fall day in the car when I wore Frankenberry as a hair dressing.


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Posted in Frankenberry, madness mom & me, meningitis | 7 Comments »

Pretty Precious Things

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!” ~ Lucy Van Pelt regarding Easter

Every year about when the crocuses pop, I venture up to my attic, also known as “home of a thousand Christmas boxes” to pull out a few decorative eggs, Easter bunnies and colorful little “Jim Cracks” (as mom used to call them) to brighten up the house for Springtime.

Easter Basket 1963

Then I found the piece de resistance — “baby’s first” Easter basket. Yes, my very first one from back in 1963 (oops – typo alert! Don’t I mean 1973?) After wiping my misty eyes dry, (as you know if you’ve read some recent posts, it’s been an achingly emotional past few months) I smiled, and realized just how very precious this pretty little Easter basket is to me.

(ITALIAN LESSON: Happy Easter = Buona Pasqua)

My sweet childhood gift still looks perfectly pristine (photo below) and I’ll cherish it along with my memories of every Easter I was lucky enough to spend with two awesome loving parents … always.

So please share in the comments section: what are your “precious things”?
Easter Basket 2011

HAPPY SPRING! Hop on back to the home page here: www.MadnessMomandMe.com

Posted in Easter basket, madness mom & me | 10 Comments »

Viva la Mexico!

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

“I love mankind – it’s people I can’t stand.” ~ Charles M. Schulz, Go Fly a Kite, Charlie Brown

the happy mexican

Today, it’s time to depart from my usual Italian theme to give kudos to Mexico. Yes, VIVA LA MEH-I-CO! Hubby and I just returned from an ultra-relaxing week at an amazingly beautiful resort in Riviera Maya, Cancun (by relaxing I mean non-stop eating and drinking for seven days – our pickled livers are now on a mini-vacation of their own).

(SPANISH LESSON: what’s your f*cking problem? cual es tu pinche pedo?)

The staff at our resort were the friendliest and most accommodating people ever! I must have said “HOLA” a thousand times, and that was just before breakfast! Every time you pass a resort employee they would greet you with a pearly grin and a “hola”. Which makes me wonder if their training is something like that of circus elephants — if they don’t “perform”, they’ll receive a thrashing by the Mexican whip when the clock strikes la medianoche.

sour face

I give these people GRANDE accolades, because some of these American touristas sported a permanent puss on their pasty faces. They looked as if they just sucked the life out of a barrelful of lemons!
I mean – WTF? How could you be at a 5-Star resort, where you’re being waited on hand and foot and walk around like a f*cking frowning zombie? There was one chunky monkey who could not keep her eyes off the kitchen at breakfast one morning. Girlfriend was sizing up those omelets like Charlie Sheen at a whorehouse! Laser-beam focus on every tray which passed her drooling boca. I so wanted to tell her, “look b!tch, you can afford to skip a meal or dos!” Seriously, the mugs on some of these losers just wanted me to slap the happy into them!

The point of my rant is, if you can APPEAR happy, maybe you can actually FEEL happy, so why not SMILE dammit! :)

Sonrisa, por favor and head on to the Madness home here ~ www.MadnessMomandMe.com – Muchas Gracias!

Posted in Cancun, happy Mexicans, madness mom & me, Mexico, riviera maya cancun, vacation | 2 Comments »

Don’t F*ck with Peppermint Patty!

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

“I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to f*ckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?” ~ Tommy DeVito GOODFELLAS

A while back I wrote this post called  Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? A fun one to write, and it’s true. Although Joe and I have not met, my grandmother used to love saying that we were related to the famous actor — I think it gave Nan a little thrill, a tiny “taste” of celebrity.

(ITALIAN LESSON = to enjoy oneself, have fun, amuse = divertirsi ~ laugh = risata)

Mr. Pesci and I do certainly have a few things in common, like love and loyalty to our family, a good sense of humor, and a hot head. Don’t mess with our friends and family or ever disrespect us in front of our peers. You saw what happened to the other guinea who told cuz to get his shine box! Yes, I know it’s called acting and that was the character he was playing (I’m not THAT crazy), but it’s the Pesci we love seeing on screen. Just like Danny Aiello ranting and raving in his films — I can relate!

After getting sucked in for the thousandth time watching GOODFELLAS this past Saturday, (it’s one of those movies that whenever it’s on I just HAVE to watch it – and I own a copy!) So, I was googling the “how am I funny” scene and discovered this clip below.

So, enjoy – hope it makes YOU laugh!

Do I amuse you? Head back to the home of MADNESS here  www.madnessmomandme.com

Posted in Goodfellas, Joe Pesce, Joe Pesci, Joe Pesci Goodfellas, madness mom & me, Peanuts, Peanuts funny, peppermint patty, You think I'm funny scene | 4 Comments »

Being Italiano

Friday, February 11th, 2011

“It’s a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.” ~ Clemenze (Richard Castellano), The Godfather

Being Italiano

A friend of mine sent me one of those “you know you’re Italian when” emails the other day, so I used a few from that list and added some of my own.  Guess you could say I was entertaining myself.  Here they are:

* Your household  “conversations” hit decibel levels over in the high 90s (the Romano family was highly skilled)
* You swear very well - F*ckin A Right!
* At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner, or holds political office – hmm…does a wino count?
* You thought seriously about becoming either a nun or a priest – Yes, I loved Sister Bertrille!

The Flying Nun
* You have no idea how to make a long story short - fuhgettaboutit!
* Many of your childhood meals were homemade pasta with homemade sauce - store bought was a mortal sin
* It’s “sauce”(period) . Gravy is the brown stuff – for TURKEY!
* You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer or feeling very guilty, thank you Catholicism
* You can’t wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking

(ITALIAN LESSON: Oh, you are such a lovely, crazy woman! = Oh, sei una donna così adorabile, fantastica!)

* ‘Italian Leftovers’ is a euphemism for ‘spaghetti and meatballs.’ Mangia!!!
* You have Italian Alzheimer’s, you forget everything but the grudges  - can we say STUBBORN ITALIAN
* Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of warmed spiced vino or boiled potatoes a la grandmama
* There’s no leaving a family party without saying goodbye, kissing and hugging everyone for at least 45 minutes and those long & rough cheek pinches – ouch!
* At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other or may have had a fist fight

*You may have recently beaten up your laptop — oh wait, that was me! (see previous post) and head back to the home of madness here:  www.Madnessmomandme.com

Posted in Being Italian, Italians, Loud Italians, madness mom & me, Politically Incorrect | 8 Comments »

A Winter Poem

Friday, February 4th, 2011

I get this poem every winter & every winter I love reading it.

It’s a beautiful poem and very well written.

I thought it might be a comfort to you, as it was to me.

A Winter Poem

Shit!

It’s Cold

The End.

~ ~ ~

(ITALIAN LESSON: cold = freddo)

Colder than a $#*(&@!? Head back to the warmth (& crazy) of Madness @ www.MadnessMomandMe.com

Posted in madness mom & me, winter | 4 Comments »

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