Archive for the ‘Fun insane family’ Category

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7 Links Challenge

Sunday, October 9th, 2011

I was recently asked by Barbara Hammond of Zero to 60, and Katie Sorene of Trip Base to take part in the 7 Links Challenge, where you select previously written posts in 7 categories, then ask your fellow bloggers/blogstresses to do the same. It’s a bit harder than you think, so please challenge yourself. I won’t call anyone out (as the “rules” state) so it’s up to you if you wish to give it a whirl. Plus, I do enjoy breaking the rules!

    Here are the categories and my Madness selections:

Most beautiful post:
Mourning Mom
Speaks for itself, and it’s all still so surreal to me. My world as I knew it ended when mom died.

Most popular post:
Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that?
Because who doesn’t love crazy ranting cousin Joe?

Most controversial post:
The Good Ol’ Inappropriate Days.
Political correctness? Who really gives a sh!t?

Most helpful post:
Love Rituals
Everyone should be so lucky to have so much love.

A post whose success surprised you:
Pretty Precious Things
Short & sweet — I received many comments and emails about your treasured keepsakes.

A post which didn’t get the attention it deserved:
Turn the Car Around Dominic!
Come on, Mom throwing her shoes, handbag and Dad’s wallet out of the car window? = funny stuff!

Post that you are most proud of:
Ding-a-lings at the Dover Library
A little girl’s original art. So what if it was all about a penis…I love that story!


Have a blog? Free to share your link in the comments section, and/or tell me about your single favorite post.

Posted in 7 blog post challenge, 7 links, Crazy NJ family, Dad, death of a parent, Ding-a-ling Drawing, Dover Library, Fun insane family, funny family stories, grieving, Love, madness, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, The Loud family, The Romanos | 5 Comments »

The Sh!t List!

Friday, October 7th, 2011

“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

A short & sweet post today.
Well, maybe not all that sweet — more stinky, but I like the message anyway.

Mom had a saying which I found myself using today regarding a pain-in-the-ass family member. I said, “they’ve made it to my SHIT LIST”! I realized I haven’t used that phrase in awhile, so it was quite overdue. The Sh!t List began when I was little and Mom was beginning to lose her patience. She’d give us this warning when we were getting out of hand, “you better cut that out right now, or you’ll end up on my sh!t list”! Direct and to the point, and we got it.

You get the drift too, I’m sure. So if anyone made it to your sh!t list recently, please share below by clicking that comment button — you can use code names, intitials, symbols, or feel free to tell us the whole sh!tty story.

ITALIAN LESSON: Merda = Sh*t, though not used nearly as often as English. Except in Siamo nella merda = “We’re in the shit.”

Stay on the good side Madness, and head to the home page: HERE.

Posted in Crazy NJ family, Fun insane family, funny family stories, funny sayings, madness mom & me, mom's funny sayings, shit list | 8 Comments »

Mom’s Prison Rap

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

My mother really had a kick-ass sense of humor, which you can clearly see in these past posts: My Clever Mom, Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, and The Impatient Patient.

Her original “PRISON RAP” is one of my favorites, and I’m lucky enough to have a taped version featuring rapper mom at the mic! Yeah, it might sound crazy, but this little rap of hers is one of my most cherished memories of her clever wit!

So let’s get to it — here is Mom’s original rap:

PRISON RAP ~ by Margo Romano

I’m going through a phase with my razor blades
I’ll stab you in the neck, but what the heck
I got you by the balls, so you’re takin’ a fall
I’m hopping on a train, going insane
But I’m coming back and that’s a fact

I’m telling no lies, so you better hide
I’ll do my time for committing my crime
I know life sucks, but what the F*CK!

There ain’t no reason, there ain’t no rhyme,
I’m just sitting in my cell doing time.

~~~

Posted in Fun insane family, funny family stories, funny sayings, Ma Romano's rap, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, mom and me, mom's rap, my mom the rapper, Nutty Mom, prison rap | 5 Comments »

Your Family in 3 Words

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.”

Hey guys – let’s have a little fun today, shall we? Go ahead and describe your family in just three words (in the comments area below). Come on, just post the first three words that pop into your head!

ITALIAN LESSON: Family = La Famiglia

Okay, I’ll go first: neurotic, quirky & lovable (not in that order, of course) :)

YOUR TURN!
When you’re done commenting, please head back to the madness home HERE

Posted in describe your family, Fun insane family, funny family stories, Insane family stories, Italians, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, The Romanos | 4 Comments »

Debut: Six Sentence Saturdays

Saturday, July 9th, 2011

Something new! Little six sentence snippets of my family insanity posts.

These six (long sentences) are from my original post, “Just a Crazy Italian Famiglia from NJ”. Hope you enjoy ~ Ciao Bellas!

Mom certainly contributed her fair share of insanity to our little Romano clan, and I love her for it, I really do. Come on, how many other daughters can go on about how their mom threw her shoes/purse/dad’s wallet out of the car window, flipped her spaghetti plate at the dinner table, ran away a few times (well, it was just around the block, or to the corner of her walk-in closet), had special “turn-the-car-around” powers, or flipped on the gas oven to do the family in?

Plus, an almost-daughter-in-law (seeing her before noon, you would’ve sworn she was Don King) who beat down an enemy with a plastic lawn goose and occasionally went berserk on family members with a Ginsu knife!

Seriously, mom and I shared many a laugh over these memories, complete with those precious “pee-your-pants” moments, and this is just the beginning.

MADONNA MIA! If you have a weak bladder, pop on your trusty Depends and hang on for the ride!

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Posted in Fun insane family, funny family stories, Insane family stories, Loud Italians, madness, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, mom and me, Nutty Mom, The Romanos | No Comments »

Freckles…Every Woman Has Two

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011

“My husband said ‘show me your boobs’ and I had to pull up my skirt… so it was time to get them done!” ~ Dolly Parton

“Mom, what are those?” A little me asked inquisitively one day, while staring at mom’s boobs when she was casually changing her summer blouse. Mom, thinking I meant the little “dots” on her skin, replied “freckles honey”.

ITALIAN LESSON: Boobs = tette (tits) or poppa (breasts)

From that day on, for about a decade or so, I thought boobs were called freckles. I couldn’t understand why some of my friends didn’t know what the word meant — I just figured my mom told me more about that kind of stuff than their moms did. Lucky to be me!


Please say hello to your freckles, and head to the home of madness: Here

Posted in boobs, Crazy NJ family, freckles, Fun insane family, funny family stories, Insane family stories, madness mom & me, mom & me, mom and me | 8 Comments »

The Good Ol’ Inappropriate Days

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

“Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.” ~ Charles Osgood

A Facebook friend of mine recently shared these Pillsbury’s “Funny Face” drink packet photos from the seventies (thanks Kenneth!).  Seeing these loveable images brought me back to a time where we didn’t worry so much about being politically correct.

 Chinese Cherry & Injun Orange

No offense to the Chinese or the Native Americans – oops! there I go, trying to be PC - but I think these little guys have a certain innocence and charm about them.  We knew they were a joke, and I happen to like people who can take a joke.

Hey, I’ve been called a “spaghetti-bender” in my day, and some kids in my (Catholic) elementary school called the Italian kids WOPS or guineas – and you know what? Sticks and stones, baby! I’d yell proudly, “NA NA NA NA NA , you’re just  jealous because you’re NOT Italian!”

TOPPS Wacky Packs, a series of trading cards and stickers featuring consumer product parodies, were another fun little treasure we had in the seventies, with slogans like: Fillsbury Fatina, Brandy Land, Swiss Mess, Cram, Slaytex, Scary Jane, Stove Glop, Coffin Mate – the sweet, yet irreverent list goes on and on.

 BrandyLand Wacky Pack    Wacky Packs  

(ITALIAN LESSON:  Inappropriate= non appropriato)

I’d be remiss if I didn’t pay homage to my beloved Garbage Pail Kids, with adorable homely hoodlums like these:

   Garbage Pail Kid Harry    Garbage Pail Kid Amy

We’d rummage through each new pack (purchased with our carefully saved pennies) just to see who would get stuck with the most hideous image. Funny… while these images seem so ”wrong” now,  as a society, we’ve certainly more than tipped the rudeness scale (just take a  look around).  To me, it seems like so many have misplaced their funny bone, if not outright lost it.

Lighten the F up, LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW and head back home here: www.MadnessMomandMe.com

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Posted in Crazy NJ family, Fun insane family, madness mom & me, politically correct, Politically Incorrect | 7 Comments »

The Exorcist at the Drive-In

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

 ”The Power of Christ compels you!” ~ Father Merrin & Father Damien Karras, THE EXORCIST

I was lucky enough to experience many family drive-in nights as a kid back in the 70s.  Tracy and I would throw on our comfiest PJs, hop in the car with my parents and head off to the local drive-in (usually Ledgewood) to catch the latest flick on the big (really big) outdoor screen.

My two favorite things about drive-in night were:  #1.  the play area, where we’d play on swings, slides and the see-saw before the movie started (Dad had this thing about arriving really early to grab the perfect space, and to make sure the speaker wasn’t a dud), and #2.  intermission, a chance to spend dad’s hard earned cash on overpriced soda, popcorn, pepperoni pizza and ice cream. The movie was more of an afterthought for Tracy and me – drive-in night was about being our silly selves, making fun of the actors, and stuffing our faces with candy and greasy junk food.

ENJOY THIS INTERMISSION TREAT:

I fondly recall the intermission ads, touting sparkling cold beverages, piping hot coffee, Slim Jims and what the announcer called “delicious chocolate-coated candy bars”, cigarettes and a variety of tasty treats (nutritious hot dogs, they bragged).  Goodies sure to clog up the arteries of every family member.

(ITALIAN LESSON:  she devil = diavolessa)

Seeing The Exorcist drive-in style remains a vivid memory for me.  I was flying solo in the back seat that night, mom and dad figured I’d fall asleep soon after the late show started.  Not me! I popped my curious eleven year old head up in between theirs and watched the entire gory enchilada!  I think it took a few nights (weeks!) to get that freaky image of Linda Blair’s famous head spin out of my head.  To me, The Exorcist is one of the best horror flicks ever, which I religiously (pun intended) watch at least once a year.  It continues to deliver the creeps for a day or two after, and I think that’s part of its charm.

The Infamous Head Spin

Regan and Captain Howdy say get yer arse back to the home of MADNESS before their head’s spin!  www.MadnessMomandMe.com

Posted in Crazy NJ family, Drive in movie, Fun insane family, funny family stories, Ledgewood Drive In, madness mom & me, NJ Drive In, The Exorcist, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Got Brats? Threaten them!

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

“A child is a curly dimpled lunatic.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most parents have a ridiculous threat they keep in their pocket to throw out when they want to keep their kids in line.   My mom had one which shut me up pretty quickly, because the thought of being away from my quirky family (insanity and all) made my knees knock together in terror.  Also, how the heck could I ever live without mom’s lasagna?

Her threat?   HELGA MUNSON!

The dreaded HELGA!

This is the beaut I pictured playing the role of Helga.  Mom’s actual threat was that schoolmistress Helga Munson would come to our house to collect me, and take my sorry little talking-back ass to Camp Marymount reform school!

(ITALIAN LESSON:  Threaten (speak threats) = minacciare a voce)

Of course, Helga and Camp Marymount are fictional, but this trick of mom’s worked like a charm (I think she even had my dad involved in her Marymount scam a couple times).

Word to the wise:  if you have kids, be sure think up a few reusable threats today. This way, you’ll be ready to toss one out to your brats at a moment’s notice!

 HELGA SAYS: “Get back to the home of madness now at www.MadnessMomandMe.com !”

Posted in bratty kids, Camp Marymount, Fun insane family, funny family stories, Got Brats?, Helga Munson, madness, madness mom & me, mom & me, mom and me, parent threats, Threaten kids, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Mom, Paco and the Jackson Five

Saturday, May 1st, 2010

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping” ~ Bo Derek

“It’s not a gang, it’s a club”  Gilda Radnor used to say in her SNL skits about New York street gangs.  Oops, I mean clubs.  I’ve heard that phrase  over the years  from my brother Paco (well, he calls his club a Nation).    

Black 'n Gold

Paco claims he doesn’t get into much trouble, but I often see R.I.P. splashed across his myspace page when a King brother or sister falls, usually from a bullet or stabbing courtesy of a rival club, but to keep this on the lighter side, I’ll share this story about Paco, my mom and Andrew Jackson.

A few years ago, Paco stopped by mom’s house, threw five crumpled up twenties on the kitchen counter and asked, “Yo ma, can you to iron up some ’funny money’ for me, and sh!t?” 

(ITALIAN LESSON:  Counterfeit = contraffatto)

So, there mom is ironing out the additional wrinkles in Andrew Jackson’s face, while browning the garlic for one of her perfect vats of tomato sauce.  Yup, just a typical day with the Romano’s – always something different, and mom always had a hard time saying no to her baby Paco.

Funny Twenties

Mission accomplished. Did mom keep any Jacksons? No. Paco offered up a couple as a thank you, but mom replied with “are you out of your friggin’ mind?”

Crazy indeed, head back home for more insanity www.MadnessMomandMe.com

Posted in Counterfeit bills, Fake Money, Fun insane family, funny family stories, madness, madness mom & me, madnessmomandme, Paco, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

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