No sugarcoating whatsoever:
Life without Mom pisses me off!
Yes, I’m grateful for all the sweet, wonderful and sometimes hilarious years I had with my parents. Yes, I’m one of the lucky ones to have a smart & funny husband, a fabulous family, great friends and two adorable terriers who are quite talented at licking my tears away when they fall. I know I’m lucky to have all of these things, yet when you lose a Mom who is also a best friend, your muse and a person you really enjoy hanging out with, it really leaves a gash in your heart.
(ITALIAN LESSON: angry = arrabbiato)
Sometimes I scratch my wound on purpose. I’m a total sucker for family photos, and many nights I’ll grab a pile of childhood pictures and pore over them, treasuring each frame while fondly reminiscing about the good times. Memories dance through my head and I love it, yet it’s like torture (and I am no masochist).
I realize these memories are all I have now. No time to create new ones with Ma, no new jokes or one-liners of hers for me to jot down and share. No more shopping sprees or or chatting while she relaxes on the couch with a coke and one of my furkids (as seen in the photo below) etc. I can’t even ask her a question about the sixteen foster kids she and my loving Dad took in over the years — I just have my own recollections to rely on now.
This will be my second Mother’s Day without her, and it stings – it really just “sucks the big one” to be blunt. No, I don’t plan to beat up another laptop (See: Shaken Laptop Syndrome) or anyone else for that matter (although I may be typing a bit hard on these keys at the moment).
So, do me a favor if your Mom is still here. Give her a hug from me — and make it extra tight.
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