Archive for March, 2012

The (almost) Killer Rosary Bead

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” ~ Woody Allen

Mom & Dad provided me with plenty of entertaining moments over the years, and I have many more humorous (umm… neurotic) stories to share. Being my mother’s daughter, I of course, had my own dramatic escapades as well. This particular saga was a long-standing Romano favorite — friends and relatives talked about my “green rosary bead” for at least a decade or two after it made its way into my life….and my nose.

(ITALIAN LESSON: rosary beads – perle di rosario)

When I was about five or six it was just another ordinary day at school when our teacher instructed the class that it was “quiet time”. We were supposed to simply sit still at our desks with our heads resting in our arms (you know the drill). Well, I was feeling a bit fidgety that morning, and I happened to be sporting my shiny new pea-green rosary beads. When I pulled a bit too hard on my holy beads, it was just an instant before my desk had dozens of them rolling around on top of it.

So, what’s a bored kid to do? Put one up their nose, of course! Yep, I was putting one little bead in and “popping” it out — it was pretty amusing! Amusing until one got STUCK UP MY NOSE, and blood was dribbling out all over my desk and the other green beads!

Mom and Dad arrived at the school and off I went to the emergency room. The Doctor took the world’s tinest (and STRONGEST) vacuum and sucked out the foreign object, along with any dignity I happened to have left that day. I went home with some cotton packed up there to stop the bleeding, and decided from that morning on, never to play the “pop-it-out” game with my nostrils again.

I’d love to hear about your embarrassing school moments, so please share them HERE!

Bug Up Your A**?

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.” ~ Jill Churchill

There ARE a million ways to be a good mom. I was a very fortunate kid to have a mom who was not only caring — yeah, she was quirky and a little neurotic (in her own fun way) — but my Ma was also a best friend, never at a loss for making me laugh with her amusing comments. Her dramatic antics from back in the day (which used to piss me off then) are now playful stories which always bring a smile to my face.

Mom and I cracked up many times reading these posts featuring her theatrics (like: Turn The Car Around Dominic) and I still have many more entertaining stories to share. I’ve written about her witty way with words several times: Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, My Clever Mom and This Little Piggy, which display her spirited sense of humor.

If you’ve read CRUSH CRAZY, you know comedy and laughter were MUSTS in our home (what can I say, Jerry Lewis was my first crush).

Italian Lesson = bug = insetto

If one of us in the Romano house had a ‘tude, Mom would ask “Do you have a bug up your ass?” Sometimes, it was more of an order like, “get that bug out of your ass!”. We got the message.

A few weeks ago I said “get the bug out of your ass” to my husband, and it really wasn’t appreciated. I guess for me, it’s just another one of Ma’s sayings I still appreciate. Growing up in a loud Italian family, you could be yelling at the top of your lungs one minute (or asking about that bug) and then you’d be perfectly fine the next. I really think the Italians were blessed with “dog memory” when it comes to family arguments. We tend to let things roll off our backs, especially when it comes to LOUD talking in each other’s face.

“Get the bug out of your ass” is still one of my personal faves. So honey, if you’re reading this, if (and when) I say it to you again, I speak it with fondness and amore.

The next time you’re feeling a bit grouchy, just tell yourself to GET THE BUG OUT! Then smile, knowing it originated from a happy place.

Have you ever heard this expression, or said it to someone yourself? Please share HERE