Cradle Crap

“When I was born I was so surprised I couldn’t talk for a year and a half.” ~ Gracie Allen

My mom was certainly gifted with a clever tongue, and her way with words always made me laugh. Her wit was mentioned in a few of my previous Madness posts such as The Sh!t List!, Mom’s Prison Rap, My Clever Ma and This Little Piggy.

Yesterday I was pleasantly reminded of a funny phrase mom used to say when I was little. You know how babies get something called cradle cap on their heads? It’s a form of dermatitis which appears on the scalp of infants. But let’s not get gross here, I don’t even know if you’ve had your morning coffee yet.

(ITALIAN LESSON: That’s a cute baby = Che carino bimbo / Che carino bimba (for female)

Anyway, it was…well, Mom said it best, calling it “Cradle Crap”, and she used to gently peel away whatever traces of this mushy scalp crap I had on my little baby head.

baby eyes1 263x300 Cradle Crap

Cradle crap, exploding diapers and boogers — bless you moms for all you endure!

Time to vent! Please share your baby incidents in the comments section HERE. I’d love to hear your stories (bring on the yuck factor, I have a pretty strong stomach)!

5 Responses to “Cradle Crap”

  1. barbara says:

    Cradle crap pretty well describes it. I have totally blocked out any and all disgusting incidents from my childhood or my own children’s. Going through it once was enough! I will say that I was so sick of changing diapers that when my youngest was potty trained I declared that I would NEVER change another diaper. I am proud to say that with three grandsons now I have only changed 2 diapers in 37 years. It would have been 0 but there was this blow-out… nevermind. I’ve blocked it out.

  2. "Me" says:

    @ barbara:
    Oh yeah – the blowouts – yiiiikes! My mom had to deal with a foster kid’s diaper “crime scene” one time – wow….I’ll say no more (for now anyway). ;)
    "Me" recently posted..Cradle CrapMy Profile

  3. Irene says:

    Cradle Cap!!!! Too funny. I remember my Mom and her ladyfriends talking about crade cap. My brother, is eight years younger than I. Once when he was about 1 or 1 1/2, my Mom was giving him his bottle, sitting on the leather couch as she and I were watching TV. My Mom was German and the cleanest person I have ever known, a speck of dust would have a hard time escaping her daily cleaning (top to bottom every single day). Anyway, a while later, after my brother had been fed, changed and was down for a nap, Mom was straightening up the living room. Stray piece of popcorn here, an M&M, and Mom popped the M&M in her mouth, and immediately spit it in her hand, and with a totally grossed out look on her face she cried “Oh Mein Gott (OMG with the accent), its a shitball!!!!” My brother at that time, passed little balls of poop, and the diapers back then were not the greatest, had gaps, so one must have escaped the diaper and got flattened on the leather couch, and it did look like an M&M. How my father loved that story when he got home from work. From then on, whenever Mom’s constant cleaning got on his nerves, or she would complain that he had made a mess, he would say “Oh, calm down, you ate a shitball!!!”

  4. "Me" says:

    @ Irene:
    OMG Irene – that is hysterical! If you’d like, feel free to write that whole story as a guest post for Madness — I think so many readers will get a chuckle out of that ” “Oh Mein Gott Shitball” story!! :)
    "Me" recently posted..Cradle CrapMy Profile

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