Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)

“I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.” ~ Truman Capote

Two winters ago I introduced you to my favorite evil nun, Sister Urselena, in the appropriately named Madness post, “The Very Wretched Sister Urselena”.

lee little angel1 Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)

I mentioned that the dreaded puppet-faced Sister Ursulena would be calling my mom (again) about my school girl antics and to stay tuned for the “pencil incident” – well, here’s the story of my pencil gone bad:

HINT: I did not use my pencil for reading, writing or arithmetic that day. Nope, I had other plans…

I recall a chubby-faced pasty blond boy (whose name I cannot remember) so for sh!ts and giggles, let’s just refer to him as “pasty pencil boy”. Pasty pencil boy was teasing me about usual kid stuff, like church politics or the Sunday collection plate. Perhaps we were arguing over the number of deep crevices in Sister Urselena’s mug and during our little tiff he punched me in the tummy! I didn’t take well to a shot to the gut at six, and believe me, I sure as hell wouldn’t be too accepting of one now. So, like any disciplined student, I happened to have my just-sharpened No. 2 pencil at the ready, and his wrist was well, just THERE, so WHAM!!! I let him have that pencil tip, right in his veiny pale doughboy wrist! (Oh, and the pasty kid was fine

ITALIAN LESSON: Where can I get a pencil = Dove posse comprare una matita?

Hey, “Eye for an eye” right? Isn’t that what the Bible teaches us? Well, Sister Urselena did NOT agree, so I was suspended for a couple of days. YAY! I get to hang with Mom and watch TV – it was fabulous! (Oh, and pasty pencil boy was just fine).

pencil Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)

Come on, share a naughty childhood story with me here in the COMMENTS Section– I won’t judge icon smile Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)

Never punch a feisty girl in her belly, and head to the home of the madness here: Madness Home.

9 Responses to “Confessions of a Naughty Catholic (Part 1)”

  1. Number 2 pencils have many uses! I have witnessed ones that I don’t care to mention, as well as, those that make you laugh! Although we all know stabbing with a pencil isn’t nice, I wouldn’t argue with your need to defend yourself! : )

  2. Barbara says:

    Where did you get that picture?? Too funny. I don’t have any naughty stories to share… I was an angel!

  3. "Me" says:

    Pencil boy photo was a great find, wasn’t it? Of course, that’s me as a little Catholic angel :)

  4. "Me" says:

    Shelly, I’m so glad you understand — Maybe I can keep my halo (tee hee) ;)

  5. jotter girl says:

    When I was young, I had my even younger sister stab the babysitter in the leg with a pencil. I must be going to hell because it still makes me giggle.

  6. "Me" says:

    Thanks Jotter Girl! If you ever want to start pencil gang, I’m game. We can be the Leaded # 2′s! :)
    p.s. thanks for the comments comment – going to check into this asap!

  7. SusieR says:

    Sure sounds like your Number 2 is at hand when you’re not interested in taking Number 2. Brava!!!! Take THAT, pasty pencil boy.
    SusieR recently posted..I’m NOT Pulling Your LegMy Profile

  8. "Me" says:

    You know it sister! :) Thanks for stopping by!

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