Archive for April, 2011

Mom’s Little Monkey

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.” ~ Winston Churchill

In my post “The Exorcist at the Drive In” I shared my warm memories of the drive-in movie theater, and how I fondly remember those retro intermission ads touting sparkling cold beverages, piping hot coffee, Slim Jims, chocolate bars, candy and cigarettes.

I also mentioned how my little peepers stayed glued to the big screen during the entire showing of The Exorcist, complete with the Ouija board (“Captain Howdy”), pea green priest vomit, and Regan’s infamous crackling head spin. That movie stayed with me so much so that it’s still ranks as my favorite horror flick ever, which I religiously (pun intended) watch at least once a year.

baby orangutan

That night, during the showing of the pre-movie movie, mom & dad kept telling me they had a cute little monkey to show me, but I had to be patient. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to see this monkey! Where the heck did mom and dad get a monkey from?” I wondered, so I did my best Ramona the Pest impersonation to get them to show me asap!

Finally, mom said “are you ready to see the monkey?” I told her “YES YES YES!” So … I closed my eyes, and then mom spoke her magic words: “open your eyes!”

DAMN — I was totally gypped!

The “MONKEY” was me! Mom put down the passenger’s side sun visor, so when I opened my eyes I saw my own face in the mirror! Turns out, they thought I was their cute little monkey. I do recall being a bit ticked, but the freakish movie allowed me to snap out of it fairly quickly.

(ITALIAN LESSON: That does not please me = Questo non me calza )

No monkeying around, please leave a comment about your drive-in/movie memories below, and you can head to the madness home page ~ HERE ~

Retro Joe with a side of Bobby D

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? still proves to be one of my most popular Madness posts, so I figured I’d ride the love for cousin Joe with a comedic visual, courtesy of SNL via Hulu.

So, enjoy Jim Breuer and Alec Baldwin performing their best impressions of a couple of good fellas.

Bada Bing!

Don’t tick off the raging bull — tell us your favorite SNL skits in the comments section, then head to the home of Madness HERE


Saturday, April 16th, 2011

Etiquette tip: “More people will get out of your way if you say “I’m gonna puke!” than if you say “Excuse me”

One glorious crisp and sunny fall day, mom, dad, my cousin Tracy and I were in dad’s metallic blue Chevy Impala heading for a day trip of picnicing, rowboating and fun at one of our favorite scenic family spots in New Jersey — Swartswood Lake. Tracy and I were growing more excited since we were about half way to our destination, and there was no hint of mom’s throw-her-purse-or-shoe-out-the car-window drama on this day trip — (I guess ma gave the “thumbs-up” to dad’s driving that day) YAY!

About halfway to our destination I felt the need for a nap so I told (er…um asked) Tracy to shift over a bit, so she could serve as a pillow for my little snooze (a girl has to be comfy, you know). All was just peachy until Tracy began to violently hurl her breakfast, which happened to be a huge bowl of Frankenberry cereal. Dad’s car screeched to a halt when I woke up screaming with pink and white chunky swirls of strawberry barf covering my entire head, and poor Tracy just kept on puking, which seemed to go on forever.

(ITALIAN LESSON: throw up = vomitare)

Frankenberry Cereal

Needless to say, we never made it to Swartswood Lake that day, instead Dad made a beeline to the local hospital. Turns out my little cousin had spinal meningitis, and almost died. After a few agonizing spinal taps and a deranged priest reading Tracy her last rites (while announcing to us that our dear girl was to depart this world at any moment), I’m happy to say Tracy made a full recovery. To this day, when I see the revived Frankenberry boxes on the supermarket shelves, I remember that fall day in the car when I wore Frankenberry as a hair dressing.

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