Archive for November, 2010

Meatball Abuse!

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” ~ George Carlin 

Mom's Spaghetti & Meatballs

When it came to odd behavior, my mother was first in line.  Mom managed to keep us entertained with her antics, which included: threatening to stick her head in the gas oven (previous post 8/09) hurling her handbag, shoe or dad’s wallet out the car window when she wanted him to turn around (previous post 9/09) running away from home (usually it was only for 30-45 minutes or so) and hiding in her closet when she was having a really bad day.  Strange behavior? Yeah maybe, but for me it was all part of the Romano experience.

(ITALIAN LESSON: dinner plate= piatto di cena)

One of my favorites was mom’s dinner plate flip. The flip would usually occur when we were having a meal which dad really loved, say spaghetti and meatballs.  Dad would thoroughly enjoy his first helping, but hell broke loose when he started to dig in and fill his dinner plate for round 2.  You would hear the warning first: tink tink tink — mom’s fork clinking the side of her plate,which meant, “Dom, if you eat all that ….”  If dad went for it, which he almost always did, we would all look toward mom (kinda like watching a ping pong game) and 9 times out of 10, there goes the dinner plate! Flipped over right there on the table with mom’s spaghetti, meatballs, sauce, salad and bread all mashed together beneath it.  She would then walk away, leaving us to clean up the mess, trying to figure out what the f**k just happened, and wondering what those poor little meatballs ever did to call for that abuse?

 Food fight!!!

Don’t make me get my fork! Head back to the home of madness here: and please LIKE the madness, here:  GRAZIE!!

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Smoke ‘n Croak

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

“If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”  ~ Douglas Adams

No smoking

The pamphlets which accompanied mom’s blood pressure medication came with the friendly warning, “SMOKING is stupid, especially when you have high blood pressure, so quit for Christ’s sake”.  Maybe the message was a bit kinder and gentler, but the basic point is, QUIT the freakin’ death sticks already!

(ITALIAN LESSON:  cigarette = sigaretta)

After a week on antibiotics and high BP meds, mom still had high BP readings along with desert-cactus hack, yet she still had the nerve to ask me to send her the pack of cigarettes she left at my house during her last visit — yeah, the ones she left here when she decided to quit — WHAAAT?

Needless to say, I had a little talking to with ma, but her reply (which, I must admit, did make me laugh) was “well, I might as well enjoy myself while I’m croaking here.” 

Ok, you got me, ma!

Smoke 'n Croak

 Please share your smoking/quitting/smoking stories with me (meaning, LEAVE A COMMENT!) Pretty please 🙂

After you do, light it up, and head back to the home of madness here: