Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom

“If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…Come Sit Next to Me” – various sources

mom oc 225x300 Dissin & Dishin with Mom

Mom and I had the pleasure of spending some time together this weekend, and while chatting over our respective glasses of  Malbec (me) and a frothy whisky sour (mom),  ma Romano shared her views about current hot topics.  Luckily for me I had a pen handy, so I was able to jot down her words of wisdom and add them into the Madness archives.

(ITALIAN LESSON: They were gossiping about the family downstairs = Stavano sparlando della famiglia di sotto) 

So, here goes:

Sex Tapes – Ma says, “as long as you are looking good,  be proud and go for it!.”  She also noted her  ‘green light’ is for couples sex tapes only, not for freaks involving animals or vegetables.

Fantasia“You can’t ‘take’ somebody’s husband, unless he wants go.” (“Kidnapping doesn’t count.”)

NJ Politics - Mom’s nickname for the ultra bloated NJ Governor Chris Christie is: ”CHRISTIE KREME or “Krispy Kreme”, because he looks like he’s had more than a few of those little morsels.”

Mary Kate Olsen -“She’s a walking advertisement for disaster.  She should have a show called ‘What not to buy.’”

Mosquitoes (it is summer after all) – When those little flying f-ers  were sucking the blood out of multiple spots on my body, my mom said “they don’t bother me, guess they don’t like old skin – it’s too tough.”

Kate Gosselin – Ma says “I hope  her kids turn the cameras on her when she’s old and taking craps in HER diaper. What’s fair is fair.”

Octo Mom “That little simpleton can’t even get her book sold.  Everybody already knows her whole story; her 15 minutes of fame are up.”

Jennifer Aniston – “She’ll be a grandmother’s age soon enough, and the tabloids will still be yapping about her having a baby.”

Jesse James (re: Sandra Bullock) “Just shut up and take the blame.  Don’t blame your parents for being a loser.” 

Mel Gibson - “I always thought he was crazy, but Oksana knows exactly which buttons to push to unleash Mel’s inner raving maniac.” she added “any husband of mine would not be able to walk out of the house if he was threatening  my baby.  I’d beat his face in!”

 NJ Housewive Teresa Guidice - “She should be on ‘How they do that?’”  (Referring to her family trip to Italy and multiple extravagant shopping sprees)“She’s always whining about losing her home and having no money, but she’s always shopping.  I want somma that!”

THIS JUST IN: A retro diss courtesy of mom (one of my favs): ROBERT BLAKE (who played BARETTA in the 70s detective drama series) – “he looks like the kind of guys who doesn’t wipe his ass”

I just love mom’s wisdom.

Mom says, watch your p’s and q’s and get home here www.MadnessMomandMe.com

13 Responses to “Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom”

  1. Dolly Cheadle says:

    Priceless! We know where you get your spunk.

  2. Michele says:

    Lee–these are some GEMS! What a fun day for you and your Ma! Cocktails and Cake, just wonderfrul!

  3. Barbara says:

    That Margo is a crack-up! She’s obviously subscribed to all the entertainment mags. Frankly, I agree with her on most of the questions!
    Glad you had some quality time!!

  4. Annette says:

    As a Kate hater…I fully support her children turning the camera on her when they’re older. I’d pay for it out of my own pocket. LOL

  5. Pat says:

    Hilarious!!! I always remember what her take on “Beretta” was LOL

  6. "Me" says:

    Thanks for the comments all – love them!
    Pat – yes – this is a real gem (thanks for remembering)!
    Here’s what Mom said about Robert Blake (who played Baretta back in the 70s) – “he looks like the type of guy who doesn’t wipe his ass!”

  7. style maniac says:

    “You can’t ‘take’ somebody’s husband, unless he wants go.” (”Kidnapping doesn’t count.”) — words of wisdom! I’ve never understood women who blame other women for “taking” their boyfriend or husband. Clearly they need to chat with Mom.

    So glad that I got to meet Mom in person–what a treat! She’s a great lady.

  8. Adrienne says:

    Pour me a Malbec and move over….love mom’s who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is. :) Love to hear her advice on other topics..:)

  9. [...] really had a kick-ass sense of humor, which you can clearly see in these past posts: My Clever Mom, Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, and The Impatient [...]

  10. [...] really had a kick-ass sense of humor, which you can clearly see in these past posts: My Clever Mom, Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, and The Impatient [...]

  11. [...] entertaining stories to share. I’ve written about her witty way with words several times: Dissin’ & Dishin’ with Mom, My Clever Mom and This Little Piggy, which display her spirited sense of [...]

  12. Carolyn says:

    You might consider renaming the blog “S–t Lee’s Mom Says”… too funny!
    Carolyn recently posted..Re-Entering the AtmosphereMy Profile

  13. "Me" says:

    @ Carolyn:
    I agree! :) Mom always had me laughing, and she was a caring mom and a great friend too.

    Thanks for stopping by!
    xo
    Me
    "Me" recently posted..Hippie Vests & Other Cool Kiddie ThingsMy Profile

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