“A child is a curly dimpled lunatic.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most parents have a ridiculous threat they keep in their pocket to throw out when they want to keep their kids in line. My mom had one which shut me up pretty quickly, because the thought of being away from my quirky family (insanity and all) made my knees knock together in terror. Also, how the heck could I ever live without mom’s lasagna?
Her threat? HELGA MUNSON!
This is the beaut I pictured playing the role of Helga. Mom’s actual threat was that schoolmistress Helga Munson would come to our house to collect me, and take my sorry little talking-back ass to Camp Marymount reform school!
(ITALIAN LESSON: Threaten (speak threats) = minacciare a voce)
Of course, Helga and Camp Marymount are fictional, but this trick of mom’s worked like a charm (I think she even had my dad involved in her Marymount scam a couple times).
Word to the wise: if you have kids, be sure think up a few reusable threats today. This way, you’ll be ready to toss one out to your brats at a moment’s notice!
HELGA SAYS: “Get back to the home of madness now at www.MadnessMomandMe.com !”
Lol. When we travelled round Central America the threat was if they didn’t tow the line we’d leave them behind in Panama. They still keep trotting this out to embarass us!
Must be an Italian thing. My mom would threaten that the “people from the farm” would be coming soon to collect us. Instant good behavior.
Orphaned in Panama and farm people – love it!
Great read, thanks for posting. Reading this blog is always a pleasure.
My grandparents worked in the state mental hospital… the threats were always about ending up there in lock up. Scary shit!