Just so you know, I do plan on skipping around with tidbits of retro madness and recent madness. One: because of my own personal ping- pong ball which enjoys bouncing all over the place inside my head (I gotta have some form of ADD) – and Two: simply to keep readers entertained with real life snippets of insanity. Since this is not the book or the movie (by the way, did I mention there will be a book and a movie?), there is no chronological order, but worry not – when MADNESS hits the big screen, all will be in order for your viewing pleasure (so YOUR head does not develop ping-pong ball syndrome). OK, on with a snippet -
My mother’s mom (my Nan, whom I called “Nanny” my entire childhood) Olga just turned ninety one. Nan is such a sweetheart of a woman – always was. Women in our family live a pretty long life – not that each and every marble is still in tact, but most of them are still rolling around there in nan’s head. My great-grandmother (nan’s mom) lived to be one hundred and two — of course she thought it was the fifties and she was a much younger woman but hey, whatever works for you, especially after a millennium of living.
Nan does have some quirky habits: making her coffee the night before and leaving it in her thermos for fifteen hours, defrosting frozen meat in her sweater drawers and forgetting about it until my cousin smells the rot of decaying animal flesh stinking up her cluttered house, and she has a thing about cooking her banquet TV dinners a day or two ahead. She covers them with Saran wrap and put them in the fridge until ready to microwave again. Earth to dear Nan: frozen meals take just three minutes to nuke – but I digress. My Nan and I share a special birthday bond (I was the “grandgift” from my mom to her mom) as we share the same day of coming into this world. Recently I heard that nan put a few of those little butter packets in her purse and forgot about them – what a hot mess.
Lately, Nan keeps forgetting we share the same June birthday (something we must have talked about for over 40 years) but she’ll never forget to mention her bladder suspension surgery (I’m talking a surgery she had from decades back) at least three times in every conversation we have, and how she’ll sneeze and pee her pants (Jesus Christ, getting older certainly has its share of some really sucky sh!t!)
- Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that?
So, you might be wondering why I have Joe Pesci’s photo here if I’m writing about my grandmother. No, that is NOT my nan. A fun family tidbit is that my nan babysat for Joe Pesci (well-known Italian actor in Goodfellas, Casino, My Cousin Vinnie, etc.) and his sister when we they were little. She tells me that his mom Mary was a cousin of hers, which would make him, Joe Pesci, my third cousin! Pretty cool, huh? I never wrote down all the names years ago or wrote a note to him (Nan wanted me to, but I felt cheesy about it) and unfortunately, she does not quite recall all of the details these days. Hey Joe: if you remember Olga Gabora Robosky changing your diapers, please drop me a line, cuz!
*%#@&#! FUHGETABOUTIT! Return to the “Madness ” Home Page: www.madnessmomandme.com
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This reminds me of my Aunt Bessie, whose claim to fame was twofold: collecting dolls and hiding cash inside them. As she slid into the fog of senility, her passion for dolls continued, the collection growing to more than a thousand dolls, but her memory of which ones held cash grew dimmer and dimmer. My parents, who lived hand to mouth all their lives, tried to take advantage of poor Bessie every time they visited. They would go from doll to doll, looking for cash, but never came away with anything. Bessie outlived them both and when the estate attorneys did a thorough investigation of the dolls, they came up with more than $37,000 in cash, mostly twenties. Turns out, though, that my parents should have just taken some dolls, with or without cash. Her collection was sold at auction for over a million.
[...] (You can read more about Nan’s quirky habits lovingly noted in this post: “Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that?” http://madnessmomandme.com/2009/07/joe-pesce/). [...]
Howdy Madness, I was looking on the web for humorous blogs and found yours – love the craziness. Keep up the excellent work!
Great stories about the days in Dover – cannot wait to read more – and for a finished book – and the movie will be a riot!
HAHA – just read ALL of your posts – cannot wait for this to be a movie, lady!
Great post! I was entertained – thanks!
Keep up the good work, I like your writing – very hilarious funny stuff!!!
Love the madness – great job, if I wasn’t so busy with my school work I’d read your total site — TWICE!
I was married and divorced from Joe Pesci’s 1st cousin Angelo Mesce. My children are Joe Pesci’s 2nd cousin. My father-in-law, Angelo Mesce was Joe’s mother, Mary Mesce Peci’s brother.
Small world Evelyn! Thank you for the comment – please come back and visit the madness again.
My grandmother used to mention the name Angelo as well, but it was hard for her to recall the cast of characters (including famous Joe) in her last few years.
Cool… and funny, too!
[...] while back I wrote this post called Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? A fun one to write, and it’s true. Although Joe and I have not met, my grandmother used to [...]
[...] Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? still proves to be one of my most popular Madness posts, so I figured I’d ride the love for cousin Joe with a comedic visual, courtesy of SNL via Hulu. [...]
[...] — if you haven’t read Joe Pesci is my third cousin, you gotta F*%#!n’ problem with that? please do — it keeps the mobsters calm, cool and [...]
Were you at Joe’s first wedding to Delores? How are you related again?
No – I was just a little one at the time – not sure when his weddings took place, but I would have loved to have been there!
Problem is my Nan is no longer around to ask – I know she said Joe was her second cousin, so he’d be my third — maybe one day I can figure it all out with him personally!